The holidays can be a stressful time for many people returning to their families of origin. It is a time when old dysfunctional dynamics get expressed. Instead of viewing this holiday as something to ‘get through’ – view it as a golden opportunity to be in Truth. The Age of Aquarius is pressurizing us all to be in Truth. The best way to break from the past is to heal the present.
5 Suggestions to Be in Truth this Holiday Season
1. I love YOU but I don’t love your Fruit Cake
Stop doing things just to please others. If you don’t want the food or the booze ~ just say no thank you with no explanation required. Let mother’s ego feel hurt if you don’t like her fruitcake or some other foods she has prepared. Allow Dad to drink alone. Many people conflate food with love during the holidays – keep them separate.
2. Deliver your Soul Gift this Holiday Season
Before we incarnated to this life, we chose our family of origin. It is important to remember that we came here to deliver our soul gifts to help our families to heal. Start by taking note of what you complain about. What do you feel your family never gave you? This is exactly what you are to give to them. If you feel they never fully accepted you – practice accepting them. Bring true forgiveness and acceptance to everyone involved. Be open to members of your family changing and healing.
3. Drop your Family Role
We all play roles within our family of origin: scapegoat, clown, golden child or black sheep. Refuse to play your role and help your family become more authentic. For example, if you always play the rebel of the family – change your role – be more agreeable and cooperative and bite your tongue when the usual bait for an argument comes your way. This will break with the script and create different outcomes.
4. Break Family Agreements about the Past
When families gather, stories from the past will inevitably come up. “Remember the time Uncle John was so drunk he fell on the Christmas tree.” “Remember when black sheep sister ruined Christmas by burning the turkey ha,ha, ha.” Share your perspective and experience of the past from an authentic place. Own your experience and do not feel threatened by the judgment of others – speak your Truth even if your voice trembles. When you are aligned with Truth you are aligned with the power of the Universe. Also honor other’s perspective of their experience. Perhaps ask the question, “Why do we tell this story over and over? Is there something unfinished in this story? How can we let it go?”
5. When All Else Fails – Meditate
If family dynamics or thoughts from the past are overwhelming you – resist the urge to self-medicate through eating and drinking too much. Remove yourself from the situation and do this meditation – it only takes 40 seconds. Wherever you are, there will be a bathroom to escape to. Lock the door and breathe deeply.
“This meditation takes care of phobias, fears and neurosis. It can remove unsettling thoughts from the past that surface into the present. It can take difficult situations in the present and release them into the hands of Infinity. All this can be done in just 40 seconds!” – Yogi Bhajan (master of Kundalini Yoga)